As a woman, only daughter, caring for elderly, 87 year old widowed, Father,
Caring for a household that needs to be downsized for the two adults, one Swissy dog who inhabit it,
Caring for helping Father clear out his 57 year old house of the stuff of his life,
Caring for his emotional state and not going too fast in the process,
Although there are days, I could do what Mother once said and “light a match to it all,”
But realize I would not and could not out of Love for Father, posterity, the fire department.
Caring for a daughter, who will be married in a fancy way, for her major life event , to honor her dream with her future husband,
Although, I see why Mother said, “I’ll pay you to elope.” This was after a tired body ached from her full day of teaching 7 year old babes in public school. Mother was a Saint in my book. I understand now.
Caring for a son who just got married and enjoys his new wife (thank heavens).
Caring about friends who have various major life events happening in their lives:
One: a new great grand son arriving to her grand daughter, who is 19 years old, works at Sears and is married to a 21 year old man, who barely has a pot to pee in.
Another: a woman friend who has pain and a body that is not cooperative to her young body; young boys; a husband on a responsible, demanding career path.
Another: aging and dealing with all that encompasses ageism: worried will the money run out first, or will I die first? Worried about, “Will anyone care about me, care for me?”
Caring about church or ekklesia, like a mother hen who watches her brood and hopes they grow, and she grows in process with her more loving, peaceful, nonviolent society.
Caring about husband, who cares about others, but sometimes forgets to care about himself (motto sometimes might be, “I am man, I am machine”). Even machines break down.
Caring about community, who is drowning in debt, predatory lending, foreclosures, violence.
Going to meetings with those who care about community and are trying to make change through laws, economic practices that are more loving, nonviolent, productive. Teams of Interrupters who stop the cycle of violence.
Hope sustains me,
God, Jesus, Prince of Peace, contemplation, actions of love, prayer sustain me.
Spinning out of orbit is not possible, except if I become a whirling dervish, but not even that would do it for:
Rumi has said in reference to Sema:
“For them it is the Sema
of this world and the other.
Even more for the circle of dancers
within the Sema
Who turn and have, in their midst,
their own Ka’aba.”
and what he is saying is that when, like in Mecca you have come closer to God, likewise when you perform Sema you are also closer to God.
And then I will not be spinning out of orbit, but becoming closer to God, in a dervish way. In a Christian dervish, sufi way. Praise Jesus!